I have come to realize one thing – that the things I often procrastinate on are things that I feel are my responsibilities. For example, when someone writes to me emails, cards, birthday wishes, etc. I feel that I am responsible for replying to them. After all, the other person DID take some of their precious time for me. Or when my teachers assign me something, I feel that it is my responsibility to finish them, after all I am paying through my rectum to go to school so that I have the opportunity to get these assignments. Other than those two major points of responsibility, other smaller ones such as cleaning my room, repairing broken things, calling my family, even to updating this blog – there are a lot of things that I feel I SHOULD do.
As they are my responsibility, I SHOULD be doing them first, yet most of the time, I am doing them LAST. It’s not that I don’t know how to prioritize, it’s that I have supreme trouble acting on those priorities. Oh?! What’s that? I have a test in 3 days? Ok, I’ll join your study group in 73 hours! Notice the 73? The reason for that number is when I finally THINK about get started studying for that test, I will procrastinate for a bit longer until I have basically no time left to properly prepare. Believe me, that really sucks when you are not a genius.
It’s gotten so bad where the night before my finals, without any previous studying, I am still playing games or surfing the internet at 5 am. My final is at 9 am. The entire time that I am playing, I am not having ANY fun whatsoever, rather it is more of an escape. Since I know that I cannot achieve a good score on the finals, I just find it pointless to even get a decent score and just retreat to my noob-ganking ecstasy. In the end I got a terrible score, but I had fun, and that’s all that matters, right? WRONG! Aceing that test would have made me infinitely happier in the end!
The above also mentions another problem with my procrastination – perfectionism. Although I am not the type of perfectionist that has to have 100%, 90% or so isn’t too much to ask for, is it? I am not one of those types to study as much as possible to get a good score – I am more the type to study as little as I can and still maintain a good grade. At least the former perfectionist seems admirable and will probably go far in life. My type of perfectionism, on the other hand, is just lazy. When I procrastinate too much and finally realize I don’t have the time to achieve what I want in a certain situation, I more or less abandon it and continue to procrastinate – all the while mentally abusing myself for not even wanting to get at least a partial score. For me, It’s either all or nothing (except, for when I say all, instead of 100% I mean 90%). Gosh that sucks! If I was the 100% type of perfectionist, at least I’d be in a better position!
Finally, when my mind abuses me enough for me to finally think about starting to do something, I often realize that there is not much time left. My schedule is usually tight (due to things that I want to do) and when I set aside 1 hour for free time, (which is rare) I will think “ah! I have one hour! That’s plenty of time, God is in his heavens and all is right with the world!!” and then proceed to procrastinate. By the time I have sufficiently checked how badly Chelsea rocked Mancherster United from at least 5 different perspectives, 45 minutes have passed and I feel that I cannot satisfactorily complete what it was that I set out to do in the first place! Thus I just procrastinate more!
So yeah, that’s basically my reasons for procrastination. I basically know why I procrastinate. I know it even better now that I have even written a blog entry on the reasons yet I still don’t know how to prevent myself from procrastinating! It’s sooooo hard! Some friends have told me to just stop thinking about things and just DO IT! Although I do feel that this is wonderful advice, I can’t help but think back to the slogan for Nike (JUST DO IT!!) and lol. Seriously though, it’s so hard to just say JUST DO IT to someone who hasn’t been DOING IT! I don’t know what is a good solution for my procrastination other than forcing someone to constantly nag me about my responsibilities as well as yelling profanities in my ear and tell me what I should be doing like a boot camp instructor but I don’t know anyone who is willing to do that. Not even my mom is willing to do that, heck, I wouldn’t even do that for me! Ah, whatever, thinking about things is too frustrating, I’m just gonna go play final fantasy 13 some more! Got any ideas?
Gosh, if I didn’t procrastinate as much as I do now, I’d be able to go somewhere in life, I know it. But right now, I’m as settled as a boulder in a plain. Shit.
TQT
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